Jane

The Doctor pushed the paperwork across the table for Jane to sign; a flurry of dust leapt from the pages making delicate curlicues in the beam of sunlight from the window, and peering over his glasses at her the good Doctor waited expectantly.

Anticipating her reluctance, Thomas moved forward in his seat and cupped her elbow with his broad farmer's hand “This is the right thing to do Sister, just sign now.”  Perceived as weak willed by both men, Jane battled her own reluctance to sign, and the pressure from her brother in law, and her Doctor.  “Gentlemen, I would be grateful for just a moment, please.”

Thomas now fearing Jane would back away from the agreements he had worked so hard to achieve sat back in the leather chair and closed his mouth tightly, his hands echoing the tension in his face sat clasped and ridged in his lap.

Raising her eyes high to the oak lined walls, and the oil paintings of far off England, she mentally checked off all her options one last time.  She knew that even without their insistence, there was no good or viable choice but this, and she resolved to sign now and quickly, before she had a change of heart.

Sensing her shift the Doctor dipped the pen into the ink well and held it out towards her. She applied it’s ink laden nib to the paper and signed purposefully, ‘Jane Kinzett’, and thereby committed her husband to the Lunatic Asylum.

Elizabeth Ann Rabone 1864-1950

Elizabeth Ann Rabone was born in Staffordshire, England, on November 26^th, 1864.[1]   The third child of Samuel Rabone, a West Midlands Railway Worker, and Margaret Williams, from Shropshire.[2]  The family emigrated to New Zealand in July 1872, with the Birmingham Railway Contractor John Brogden & Sons, as part of a contract with the New Zealand Government for the provision of a railway network and labour force to construct it.[3]

This tough working class beginning and emigration to a new colony as a child, set the foundation for Elizabeth; never likely to rise above her station, but with the fortitude to keep going even when faced with very difficult odds.

Samuel’s family settled in Picton, at the top of the South Island, and it was here in November 1883 that Elizabeth aged 19 married 22-year-old Francis Robert Godfrey (Frank), youngest son of John Godfrey a local Politician, Publican and General Merchant, and his wife Hannah Smith.[4]

Elizabeth and Frank had nine children between 1884 and 1898, two of whom died in infancy.[5]  Elizabeth was settled in Picton, socially active and engaged with her family and their small community.[6]  Her life inexorably changed in 1902, when Frank was diagnosed with syphilis and Elizabeth’s Doctor urged she “No longer co-habit with her husband”.  Their marriage marred by bankruptcy and Frank’s unconscionable behaviour, and with six children under 16, Elizabeth took her Doctor’s advice.[7]  Although the Women’s Movement had been instrumental in gaining women the right to vote in 1893, there was little support available for separated or divorced women raising children alone.  Elizabeth was not eligible for any financial assistance from the Government; pensions for widows did not begin until 1911 and low-income families only began to receive Government financial support in 1926.[8]  Those unable to support themselves prior to this relied on family support or charities.  Elizabeth never settled in one place for long after 1902, her limited choices dictated by her tenuous financial position.

Elizabeth took the three youngest children and moved to Wellington shortly after the separation, and over the next several years applied twice to the Magistrate’s Court for financial support from Frank.[9]  His failure to comply with court orders resulted in a prison sentence in late 1902.[10]  Perhaps as a compromise Frank took custody of the three children in Wellington for twelve months, and Elizabeth returned to Picton.[11]

In 1905 with her children back in her custody, no maintenance from Frank, and unable to provide for them, Elizabeth made the heartbreaking decision to relinquish her 5 and 6-year-old sons to a Church Funded Orphanage in Brightwater, 80 miles from Picton, leaving her with just three children under 16 to support.[12]  By 1911 her eldest children, most still teenagers, had established themselves on the West Coast in the mining region around Greymouth, at the foot of the Southern Alps, and Elizabeth joined them there with the youngest retrieved from the Orphanage and approaching the end of their compulsory schooling.[13]

While on the West Coast, Elizabeth successfully pursued a divorce from Frank, citing poverty as the reason she had delayed taking this action for nine years.  The divorce was granted on the grounds of Frank’s drunkenness, his abuse of, and violence towards Elizabeth, and his infidelity.[14]  Divorce requirements were changed by the Divorce Act of 1898, making them the same for both men and women, though fault still needed to be proven, and often sordid details of the guilty party’s actions were published in the newspaper.[15]  Thankfully Elizabeth’s divorce details were not published and she escaped the embarrassment of public disapproval.

Elizabeth Ann Godfrey nee Rabone

In late 1912 Elizabeth and the two youngest boys moved 640 miles north to Mercer to join her 17-year-old daughter Madge, who was recently married.[16]   Mercer was a bustling hub of railway activity beside the Waikato River, on the main trunk line between Auckland and Hamilton.[17]  Here for several years Elizabeth used the surname Young, and although family stories hint at a relationship with a man of this name, nothing is now known which confirms this.[18]

New Zealand entered WWI in 1914 and those of her sons old enough enlisted, and joined the war effort in Europe, Walter in 1914, Sam and Frank in 1916.[19]   Walter and Sam returned to New Zealand at the end of the war, however Lance Corporal Frank Godfrey of the NZ Machine Gun Battalion fell at the Second Battle of Cambrai, in Northern France on 8^th October 1918 aged 21.[20]  This was a painful year for Elizabeth as her youngest child Rabone, died six weeks after his brother, during the 1918 Post War Influenza Pandemic which swept the country.[21]  The loss of two sons so close to each other had a profound effect on Elizabeth, and she continued to remember them with lines of poetry published in Newspaper ‘In Memoriam’ notices 20 years after their deaths.[22]

Elizabeth lived the balance of her life close to, and often with her adult children who were scattered throughout the country. In 1923, she was with her daughter Olive for the birth of a grandson in the King Country.[23]  She spent the years of WWII in Otaki and Upper Hutt, near Madge and Walter’s families, and visited Sam who had remained on the West Coast.[24]  Despite maintaining close relationships with her adult children, some of her grandchildren recalled Elizabeth with less than fondness.  Her granddaughter Frankie, remembered her as “a mean woman, who would cut boiled sweets in half”.[25]  This frugal action perhaps indicative of the years of poverty Elizabeth had endured.

Elizabeth Ann Godfrey nee Rabone with Grandchildren in Mangaotaki 1929

Despite their efforts to locate him, the family lost touch with their Father in the late 1920’s, his daughter in law recalled in 1982 “The rumour was he may have gone back to the goldmines in or out of Picton and met with an accident”.[26]  Frank had remained in the North Island and died in a ‘Home for Old Men’ in 1931, of cerebral haemorrhage and syphilis; by this time Elizabeth had been calling herself a ‘Widow’ for more than a decade.[27]

Elizabeth never remarried and succumbed to old age at 85, she died in the home of her daughter Phyllis, on January 12^th, 1950, and was buried in the Pukekohe Public Cemetery.[28]

Elizabeth was a stoic and tenacious woman who chose the precarious life of single motherhood over an unworkable marriage, in a time with few social systems to support her.  With limited finances, she used her greatest skill, a determined focus on family and creating the tight bonds which held them together through poverty, separation, bereavement and two World Wars.  Her legacy; kind honourable sons, and strong resolute daughters.

Bibliography

Arnold, Rollo, ‘The Farthest Promised Land - English Villagers, New Zealand Immigrants of the 1870s’, Victoria University Press, Wellington, 1981.

Auckland City Council, Manukau Memorial Gardens, Pukekohe Cemetery, Pukekohe, New Zealand.

Auckland Star.

Baker, Maureen, 'Family welfare - Welfare, work and families, 1918–1945', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/family-welfare/pages 2 and 3, Accessed 10 Sep 2017.

Blenheim Bankruptcy Case Files c1876-c2003, Archives New Zealand, National Office, Wellington,

Brayshaw, Norman, The Godfreys of Wairau: a short history of John and Henry Godfrey. Blenheim, N.Z. N. Brayshaw, 1962

Brown, Hayley Marina, Loosening the Marriage Bond: Divorce in New Zealand, c.1890s - c.1950s, Victoria University of Wellington, 2011, Page 19. Accessed 17 Sep 2017.

Commonwealth War Graves Commission – Frank Godfrey, Service Number 14253, Burial Naves Communal Cemetery Extension, URL https://www.cwgc.org/find-war-dead/casualty/307816/godfrey,-frank/ Accessed 28 Aug 2017

Cook, Megan, 'Divorce and separation - Growth in divorce: 1898–1979', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/divorce-and-separation/page-2, Accessed 23 Aug 2017.

England Census, 1871, Horseley Heath, Tipton, St Martin, Staffordshire, England, Class: RG10; Piece: 3003; Folio: 44; Page: 25; GSU roll: 838855, Ancestry, Accessed 23 Aug 2017.

General Register Office, Her Majesty’s Passport Office, England.

Godfrey to Reed, letter, 30 August 1982.

Grey River Argus.

Greymouth Supreme/High Court Divorce Files 1909-1981, Archives New Zealand, Christchurch.

Hokitika Museum Photographic Collection, Westland District Council, Hokitika, New Zealand, GPNeg#5758.

Legel, Paula. Influenza Pandemic 1918. Auckland War Memorial Museum - Tāmaki Paenga Hira. First published: 5 June 2015. Updated: 11 June 2015.
URL: www.aucklandmuseum.com/collections-research/collections/topics/influenza-pandemic-1918, Accessed 19 Sep 2017.

Marlborough Express.

New Zealand Defence Force, Personnel Archives, Archives New Zealand, National Office, Wellington.

New Zealand Electoral Rolls 1853-1981, Grey Lynn, Auckland, New Zealand 1919, Ancestry, Accessed 17 Aug 2017.

New Zealand Electoral Rolls 1853-1981, Otaki, Wellington, New Zealand, 1938, Ancestry, Accessed 20 Aug 2017.

New Zealand Electoral Rolls 1853-1981, Otaki, Wellington, New Zealand, 1946, Ancestry, Accessed 20 Aug 2017.

New Zealand Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Grey, West Coast, New Zealand, 1911, Ancestry, Accessed 17 Aug 2017.

New Zealand Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Wairau, Marlborough, New Zealand 1905, Ancestry, Accessed 20 Aug 2017.

New Zealand Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Wellington, New Zealand, 1902, Ancestry, Accessed 20 Aug 2017.

New Zealand Herald.

New Zealand Times.

O'Connor, Frankie, conversation with Sue Young and Maureen O'Connor, digital recording, 2010, in author’s possession.

Phipps, Gareth, revised by Ian McGibbon, '1918: spring offensive and advance to victory' (The Hundred Days Offensive), URL: https://nzhistory.govt.nz/war/western-front-1918, (Ministry for Culture and Heritage), updated 21-Jun-2017, Accessed 28 Aug 2017.

Pollock, Kerryn, 'Children’s homes and fostering - Church institutions and charitable aid', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/childrens-homes-and-fostering/page-1, Accessed 17 Sep 2017.

Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand.

School Admission, Progress and Withdrawal Registers indexes 1858-1912, NZSG Kiwi Collection V2, New Zealand Society of Genealogists.

Swarbrick, Nancy 'Country schooling - Getting an education: 1800s', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/country-schooling/page-1 Accessed 17 Sep 2017.

The Colonist

The Cyclopedia of New Zealand (Auckland Provincial District) - Mercer, Victoria University of Wellington Library, New Zealand Electronic Text Collection, Te Puhikotuhi o Aotearoa, Accessed 10 Sep 2017

Wanganui district Council, Aramaho Cemetery, Accessed 10 Aug 2017.

---

[1] Birth Certificate of Elizabeth Ann Rabone, born 26 November 1864, General Register Office, Her Majesty’s Passport Office, England, 1864, Dec Qtr, District, Dudley, Vol 06C, Page 53.

[2] Ancestry, Census record for Samuel, Margaret, Samuel Jnr, Jane & Elizabeth Ratone (Rabone), No 4 Court, 4 Horseley Heath, Tipton, 1871 England Census, Tipton, St Martin, Staffordshire, Accessed 23 Aug 2017.

[3] Rollo Arnold, ‘The Farthest Promised Land - English Villagers, New Zealand Immigrants of the 1870s’, Part One - English Villagers, New Zealand Immigrants, 1 Brogdens' Navvies, Wellington, Victoria University Press, 1981; Obituary, Marlborough Express, Volume XXX, Issue 100, 30 April 1894, Page 2, Obituary of Samuel Rabone.

[4] Marriage Certificate of Elizabeth Ann Rabone and Francis Robert Godfrey, married 28 November 1883, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages New Zealand, 1883/2892; Norman Brayshaw, The Godfreys of Wairau: a short history of John and Henry Godfrey. Blenheim, N.Z. N. Brayshaw, 1962.

[5] Birth Registration record of Thomas Godfrey, born 1884, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand, 1884/7152; Death Registration record of Thomas Godfrey, died 1884, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand, 1884/4570; Birth Registration record of Dorothy Lily Godfrey, born 1893, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand, 1893/1170; Death Registration record of Dorothy Lily Godfrey, died 1884, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand 1893/3744; Greymouth divorce file - Godfrey, Elizabeth Ann v Godfrey, Francis Robert, 29 August 1911, Greymouth Supreme/High Court Divorce Files 1909-1981, Archives New Zealand, Christchurch Regional Office, Item ID R20314919, Pages 2 and 3.

[6] Local and General News, Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIV, Issue 194, 20 Aug 1900, Page 2; Local and General News, Marlborough Express, Volume XXXV, Issue 226, 28 Sep 1901, Page 2; Coronation Celebrations, Marlborough Express, Volume XXXVI, Issue 142, 20 June 1902, Page 3.

[7] Greymouth divorce file - Godfrey, Elizabeth Ann v Godfrey, Francis Robert, 29 August 1911; Debtors' Petition, Debtor Francis Robert Godfrey, October 1896, Blenheim Bankruptcy Case Files c1876-c2003, Archives New Zealand, National Office, Wellington, Item ID R22907097.

[8] Maureen Baker, 'Family welfare - Welfare, work and families, 1918–1945', Te Ara - The Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/family-welfare/pages 2 and 3, Accessed 10 Sep 2017.

[9] Frank, Rabone and Margaret Godfrey admitted to Thorndon School, Wellington 28 January 1903, by Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, School Admission, Progress and Withdrawal Registers indexes 1858-1912, NZSG Kiwi Collection V2, New Zealand Society of Genealogists; Ancestry, Electoral Roll Record for Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, Wellington, New Zealand 1902, New Zealand, Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Accessed 20 Aug 2017; Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIX, Issue 31, 6 February 1906, Page 2; Local and General, New Zealand Times, Volume LXXII, Issue 4784, 14 October 1902, page 4.

[10] Local and General, New Zealand Times, 14 October 1902.

[11] Frank, Rabone and Margaret Godfrey admitted to Mt Cook Schools, Wellington 20 Jul 1903 by Francis Robert Godfrey, School Admission, Progress and Withdrawal Registers indexes 1858-1912; Ancestry, Electoral Roll Record for Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, Wairau, Marlborough, New Zealand 1905, New Zealand, Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Accessed 20 Aug 2017.

[12] Frank and Rabone Godfrey admitted to Spring Grove School, Nelson, 24 Sep 1906 by Guardian Mr W Schwass, School Admission, Progress and Withdrawal Registers indexes 1858-1912, NZSG Kiwi Collection V2, New Zealand Society of Genealogists; St Andrew’s Orphanage, (refers to Mrs Schwass’ home in Brightwater), The Colonist, Volume LIII, Issue 13079, 12 April 1911, Page 2; Kerryn Pollock, 'Children’s homes and fostering - Church institutions and charitable aid', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/childrens-homes-and-fostering/page-1, Accessed 17 Sep 2017.

[13] Marriage Registration record of Margaret Phyllis Caroline Godfrey and Alfred Branch, 1907, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand, 1907/5549; Marriage Registration Record of Olive Jane Godfrey and Reuben Carne, 1908, Registrar of Births deaths and Marriages, New Zealand, 1908/1178; Frank and Rabone Godfrey departure from Spring Grove School Nelson, Last day 17 Feb 1911, Destination Totara Flat, School Admission, Progress and Withdrawal Registers indexes 1858-1912; Ancestry, Electoral Roll Record for Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, Grey, West Coast, New Zealand 1911, New Zealand, Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Accessed 17 Aug 2017; Nancy, Swarbrick, 'Country schooling - Getting an education: 1800s', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/country-schooling/page-1 Accessed 17 Sep 2017.

[14] Greymouth divorce file - Godfrey, Elizabeth Ann v Godfrey, Francis Robert, 29 August 1911.

[15] Megan Cook, 'Divorce and separation - Growth in divorce: 1898–1979', Te Ara - The Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/divorce-and-separation/page-2, Accessed 23 Aug 2017; Hayley Marina Brown, ‘Loosening the Marriage Bond: Divorce in New Zealand, c.1890s - c.1950s’, Victoria University of Wellington, 2011, Page 19.

[16] Orange Blossoms, Marriage of William Blanch to Margaret Dorothy Gladys Godfrey, Grey River Argus, 26 Nov 1912, Page 3; Military Record, GODFREY, Frank - WW1 14253 - Army 1914-1918 New Zealand Defence Force, Personnel Archives, Page 1, Archives New Zealand, National Office, Wellington, Item Number R16786790.

[17] Victoria University of Wellington Library, New Zealand Electronic Text Collection, Te Puhikotuhi o Aotearoa, The Cyclopedia of New Zealand (Auckland Provincial District) - Mercer, Page 702.

[18] Military Record, GODFREY, Frank - WW1 14253 - Army 1914-1918, page 1.

[19] Military Record, GODFREY, Francis Walter - WWI 6/1293, WWII 814644 – Army, New Zealand Defence Force, Personnel Archives, Archives New Zealand, National Office, Wellington, Item Number R24056625; Military Record, GODFREY, Samuel John WW1 32948- Army 1914-1918 New Zealand Defence Force, Personnel Archives, Archives New Zealand, National Office, Wellington, Item Number R16786810; Military Record, GODFREY, Frank - WW1 14253 - Army 1914-1918.

[20] Military Record, GODFREY, Frank - WW1 14253 - Army 1914-1918; Gareth Phipps, revised by Ian McGibbon, '1918: spring offensive and advance to victory' (The Hundred Days Offensive), URL: https://nzhistory.govt.nz/war/western-front-1918, (Ministry for Culture and Heritage), updated 21-Jun-2017, Accessed 28 Aug 2017; Commonwealth War Graves Commission – Frank Godfrey, Service Number 14253, Burial Naves Communal Cemetery Extension, URL https://www.cwgc.org/find-war-dead/casualty/307816/godfrey,-frank/ Accessed 28 Aug 2017.

[21] Death Registration record for Rabone Clarence Godfrey, died 13 November 1919, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand 1918/9551; In Memoriam, Auckland Star, Volume L, Issue 270, 13 November 1919, Page 7; Paula Legel, Influenza Pandemic 1918, Auckland War Memorial Museum - Tāmaki Paenga Hir, first published 5 June 2015, Updated 11 June 2015, Accessed 19 Sep 2017.

[22] In Memoriam Notices, New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23163, 8 October 1938, Page1.

[23] Frankie O'Connor, conversation with Sue Young and Maureen O'Connor, digital recording, Hillsborough Heights Village, Mt Roskill Auckland, New Zealand, 18 July 2010, in author's possession.

[24] Ancestry, Electoral Roll Record for Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, Otaki, Wellington, New Zealand, 1853-1938, New Zealand, Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Accessed 20 Aug 2017; Ancestry, Electoral Roll Record for Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, Otaki, Wellington, New Zealand 1946, New Zealand, Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Accessed 20 Aug 2017;  Unknown Photographer, Studio Portrait of Elizabeth Godfrey with Son Sam Godfrey and grandchildren, 15 December 1922, Hokitika Museum, Westland District Council, Hokitika, New Zealand, GPNeg#5758.

[25] Frankie O'Connor, conversation with Sue Young and Maureen O'Connor, digital recording, 2010.

[26] Daisy Godfrey to Olive Reed, letter, 30 August 1982, Original held by Olive Reed.

[27] Death Certificate of Francis Robert Godfrey, died 13 May 1931, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand, 1931/3674; Wanganui district Council Burial Record, Francis Godfrey, buried 16 May 1931, Aramaho Cemetery; Ancestry, Electoral Roll Record for Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, Widow, Grey Lynn, Auckland, New Zealand 1919, New Zealand, Electoral Rolls, 1853-1981, Accessed 17 Aug 2017.

[28] Death Certificate of Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, died 12 January 1950, Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages, New Zealand 1950/18966; Auckland City Council Burial record of Elizabeth Ann Godfrey, 14 January 1950, Manukau Memorial Gardens, Pukekohe Cemetery, 82 Wellington Street, Pukekohe, Lot PKANG-F-065.

Peggie

Jimmy. son of Peggie and Sam

In 1918 Peggie’s heart overflowed with love for the tiny boy she held in her arms, and she whispered a promise into his twelve-minute old ear.  “No matter what, I will never leave you, and I will always love you”. She vowed Jimmy would have the best life she could give him because she knew he would never know his soldier father.  

Sam was a New Zealand Soldier hospitalised in England after serving at the Western Front, and she was his Nurse.  They had fallen in love amid the turmoil of WWI, the terrible fires of war, death and destruction across Europe, nightly blackouts and bombing raids in England, and awful fear when they heard the German Planes overhead, it all gave such urgency to their love.  

Then there was the last goodbye, the scratchy wool of his uniform against her cheek, her throat choked with sobs “I may not be back…please don’t cry for me Peggie”.  She had just memories now, his strength and his courage, his smiling face as he waved goodbye, and the ship of Kiwi soldiers containing her one true love was gone forever.

Now the war was over and Sam was on the other side of the world, back to his wife and his child in New Zealand, and despite his declarations of love she knew she would never be his, that his heart and his life belonged elsewhere, and that raising Jimmy was always and only going to be her responsibility.

Elizabeth's Bed

Elizabeth Ann Godfrey nee Rabone 1916

Frank was sick and Elizabeth was sick of Frank.

Elizabeth rolled her sleeves and with a clenched fist punched the bread dough a little too fiercely, the soft warm ball collapsed under her hand. She dumped it out onto the floured bench, her plumpness covered by a floral apron and secured within the stout fabric of her dress jiggled with the exertion of kneading, and the lovely yeasty bread smell filled the kitchen.

Tucking stray strands of greying hair behind her ear she sighed and emptied a half shovel of coal into the fire. The coffee pot gurgled on the coal range. In an hour the smell of fresh bread would welcome the big kids home from school, the babies would be awake, this broken little house would rattle with the activities of her family, and Frank would snarl from his bedroom ‘Shuddup, Damn you!’.

Filling her cup with coffee Elizabeth took her apron off; with a groan she eased into the wooden chair beside the stove and gave the fire a nudge with the poker. She savoured this little slice of time each day, a small space to sit and catch her breath and to think about what next, what was the next thing she needed to do, the next most important thing in her giant list of important things. Would there be money for more coal next week, and is there room in the seams of Olive’s dress to let it out just enough to last another couple of months, I s’ppose I’ll have to get the Doctor to Frank, he seems to be no better, the boys all need haircuts, I wonder where I put the scissors. Her thoughts interrupted by Frank’s moaning and complaining from the next room and the voice of her mother was in her ears.

“You’ve made your bed my girl, and you must lie in it”. Elizabeth’s mouth curled into a sneer as she repeated the words “you’ve made your bed, you’ve made your bed”.

In the early years she’d taken her concerns to her mother and was advised to “Be more tolerant”, “Be a better wife”, “Give him a chance”, “Don’t be so harsh with him”, “Don’t be a Harpy”. “You need to give him the opportunity to learn to be a good husband Elizabeth, life was never meant to be easy dear.”

“Yes” she said in frustration rising from her chair “I have made my bed and so help me I am lying in it!”

The kitchen door was flung open by a gaggle of hungry, freckle faced siblings who’d raced each other home from school. All laughing and shouting about who’d touched the gate post first, except for the littlest one who cried because he was always last. “Shush you kids! You’ll upset your Dad” warned Elizabeth, slicing warm bread for them, smeared with the last of the jam made from blackberries they’d gathered last summer.

Frank had been ill in bed for a week, too ill to work, too ill to even get up. “Olive, run to the Doctor will you? Tell him your Dads sick and see if he will come tomorrow please”.

The kitchen door slammed and Olive was gone into the chill of the late afternoon.

In a short while she was back, her face flushed with exertion and the chilly air, she puffed “Doc says he’ll be here tomorrow just after lunch”

Later when the house was quiet and her children were fed and tucked into their beds, and Frank’s snores and moans grumbled from the front of the house, Elizabeth poked at the fire as she sat in her chair by the stove, the wind howled outside and rattled the rusted tin of the roof and the draught teased the ashes of the fire.

By the time she’d darned five socks her head felt heavy, and her eyelids drooped. She closed her eyes and let her thoughts go where they would. Frank’s smiling face a lifetime ago on the day they married in the Holy Trinity Church and the perspiration on her darling father’s nose as he, trussed up in his best suit walked her up the aisle. That first awful night Frank came home drunk and she’d watched in horror as he’d pissed on the curtains. The countless times he’d staggered home so much the worse for drink and collapsed in a stupor in the garden, from where she would rescue him, often covered in dew and brambles and sometimes rain, grazed and bruised and she’d nurse him back to health over the following days. The time early in their marriage when she’d objected to his drinking in the middle of the afternoon and he’d held her by her throat in the corner of the kitchen, her feet barely touching the floor, and he’d hissed his spittle across her face.

“It’s not your job to tell me what to do!”

The only time he had been physically violent with her in the whole of their marriage, she was shocked and afraid for herself, but terrified he may turn his anger toward the children. Elizabeth frowned at the memory Frank’s family colluding to teach him a lesson by bankrupting him.

 “Please don’t do this” she’d begged

“He needs a decent lesson Elizabeth!” her brother-in-law responded. “We’re happy to help with necessities for the children but giving him money has come to an end. We’ll no longer support his habits, he’s a drunkard and he’s bought nothing but shame to this family".

Even her own Mother wouldn’t persuade them to stop, and sent a sobbing Elizabeth home with her two small children and a curt retort about her responsibility as a wife ringing in her ears.

The drinking continued in spite of the bankruptcy, and Frank was in and mostly out of work for the next decade. During these years Elizabeth was embarrassed but accepted the support of his family, who with large families of their own still seemed to have enough to share with Elizabeth and her children.

Elizabeth learned there would be no sympathy or moral support from her mother, or from her sister who had married a solid little man, not handsome but a God fearing teetotaller who provided well and relished his position as head of his large family. Elizabeth had tried to hide her envy at her sister’s good fortune, and that was made harder by her sister’s smugness which had often left Elizabeth feeling more than a little sour.

After the fifth baby Elizabeth had applied to the court for a prohibition order against Frank. It worked for a close to a year. He was sober, and stayed home, and the children sat on his knee and they laughed like they used to. He’d found regular work as a Carter and there was food on the table and the family were happy. She’d really felt they’d turned a corner in those lovely months, her kind, handsome, even tempered Frank was back, and sometimes when the children were asleep he took her in his arms and they’d danced a slow dance in front of the fire, and she was remind of how once she had truly loved him.

Elizabeth dressed for bed and taking her long hair out of its tidy bun began to brush. Her hair was turning grey and she was no longer young, though the tough years and the extra pounds had thus far not been too unkind.

The eyes of Elizabeth in the cracked mirror met hers. “Where’s the comfort in this life Elizabeth?” Averting her eyes she began to braid her hair and Elizabeth from the mirror continued. “You are a good woman Elizabeth Godfrey and you deserve to have a good life, and a sober husband.” Tears welled up in her eyes and Elizabeth overwhelmed by frustration momentarily gave in to the hopelessness of it all. “Pull yourself together” she said “He’s not a bad man, he may not be a good provider but at least he doesn’t beat me”.

The sleeping baby stirred in his crib and she gently lifted him and taking him into her bed she suckled him back to sleep. I just have to learn to be better at compromise she told herself as she snuggled deeper under the blankets and sleep blew its warm breath through her mind.

During the night the youngest of her children had found their way into the warmth of the big saggy bed. Though Elizabeth would have preferred to sleep alone, waking amid the tangle of her sleeping children was easier than waking next to an unpredictable, often grumpy, usually drunk, Frank. The morning began as had so many other winter mornings; condensation had turned to ice on the inside of the windows, and there was life to breath into the sleeping fire and porridge to make.

“C’mon you kids, time to get up” she prodded the children out of their beds and into clothes warmed in front of the fire. In an hour they were fed and dressed and off into the frosty morning to school. Elizabeth was left with the little ones and another day with cranky Frank complaining from his sick bed, groaning and demanding what little time she had and was reluctant to devote to him.

She took him hot soup for his lunch on a small tray. “Doctor will be here soon.”

She adjusted the curtains along the bank of windows in the small sun-room where Frank had taken to sleeping of late. Tiny beads of condensation glittered at the edges of the windows in the bright sunlight as it stretched into the corners of the long narrow room. Nudging his work boots and trousers under the bed with her foot she picked up the coverlet which had slipped to the floor. “Would you like more tea?”

“N’thanks” he grunted. Tucked into a day bed under a floral quilt, and blinking into the sunlight like a little hairy mole he appeared childlike and quite unwell, and reminded of last night’s resolve to compromise she felt a pang of compassion for him.

“Would you like anything?”

“No, I’m alright.”

She opened the door to the Doctor’s firm knock. “Elizabeth, lovely to see you.”

“It’s chilly out there Doctor Harrison, thank you for coming”

“How is our patient doing today?”

“About the same, he’s through here” Elizabeth motioned to the small sliding door off the living room.

When he’d done with Frank, Doctor Harrison washed his hands at the kitchen sink and dried them on the towel Elizabeth handed to him. “Elizabeth my dear, how are you?” he asked quietly. She hardly needed to respond to his question. Harry Harrison had birthed her and all of her children and he knew the inside of her life almost as well as she did.

Taking her work worn hands in his he looked at her earnestly “Elizabeth” he said, “I urge you to no longer cohabit with your husband.” And a long pause before he said quietly “Frank’s illness is a venereal disease”. Elizabeth’s breath caught in her chest. They stood in silence before the Doctor gently patted her shoulder and quietly let himself out of the kitchen door.

“No longer cohabit. No longer cohabit? I can choose that?”

She picked the weevils out of the last of the flour, added yeast and warm water and turned the mixture in the bowl until the dough formed and covered it with a cloth before placing it on the rack above the stove to rise. She wiped her floury hands on her apron and sat staring into the fire.She buried her face in her hands as her life turned over in her mind like a giant blue iceberg rolling slowly in the ocean, a massive unfathomable force, churning deep green water from the bottom of the sea and causing wave after wave of dirty debris to rise in great gurgling mounds. Gradually the turmoil eased and there was calmness, clarity, relief.

She heard the sun room door slide open and Frank stood in the kitchen doorway. She could smell him unwashed for a week, the dirty stench of his wrecked life hung around him like smoke over a sod fire. Without looking at him she poked at the hot coals, and her heart beat faster she challenged him. “Doctor told me what you’ve got”

“And what of it woman!” he barked.

“So it’s true then, there’s been another woman and you’ve gotten a disease?”

There was a long silence before he grudgingly conceded, and nodded a silent yes in response.

Her thoughts were as clear as winter sunshine and she knew exactly the measure of her responsibility. Her fear of upsetting him had slipped away and been replaced by a bright warm courage, and buoyed by the doctor’s advice, the certain knowledge that she could indeed remake her bed. She looked at him, pathetic and unshaven in his torn night shirt, his hair sticking up where his head had spent too many hours on a pillow. His authority and her commitment gushed out of the hole he’d torn in their marriage. The hole she’d been carefully stitching together for years with love and compromise, healthy children, fresh bread and handmade clothes and a fire in the hearth. She stood and looked him full in the face and from a place of clear and perfect peace she said quietly. “You’re nothing but a rotten prick.”

He blinked at her in shock. Stabbing the air in his direction with her stout finger she continued.“I am done with you Frank Godfrey, and make no mistake this is your damn bed to lie in!”

She turned her back on him, her skirts and apron in a rustling twirl stirred the ashes on the hearth into an airy flight that danced away under the dresser. Now there were things to do, bread to make, babies to nurse, and a life to live by her own rules.